Trailer Park Boys: The Shit War
by ProjectAuthor
Summary: Ricky and Julian are getting out of jail. Lahey and Randy prepare for their arrival back at the park. ((Mainly just testing the characters. Thinking of making a short story if you guys like it. Please read and review!))


DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TRAILER PARK BOYS OR ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS. THIS IS A PIECE OF FAN FICTION

Randy stands outside the liquor store in front of Mr. Laheys car. Footage of Mr. Lahey making a large purchase inside the liquor store rolls through a security camera while Randy speaks to the camera man outside.

"Word started getting around the park that Ricky and Julian are getting out of jail today. They've been gone for about six months and the park has never been better. The park is clean, people are paying their lot fees, and Mr Lahey hasn't had a drink since they left. But Mr. Lahey is starting to worry that when they get back to the park they're gonna fuck things up again. He's turning back to the liquor."

The camera pans to the left to see Mr. Lahey walking out of the liquor store, struggling to carry 4 big boxes of liquor.

"Randy! Give me a hand, bud!" Lahey shouts to Randy.

Randy rushes over to grab a couple boxes of liquor from Mr. Lahey and help him load them in the backseat of the roofless tan cruiser.

Mr. Lahey looks to the camera and smiles whle opening a small bottle of shnapps. "Hope you're ready for the shit war, boys," he says cheering to the camera before taking a long swig of the shnapps.

Randy and Mr. Lahey both get in the car where Mr. lahey puts the cruiser in gear and takes off out of the liquor store parking lot. The bottle of shnapps is flung out the window and breaks on the road as they speed off.

Meanwhile, Ricky sits in a glass visitation cell speaking one on one with the camera man.

"How's it goin, boys? So, we're back in fuckin' jail. Good news is we're gettin' out today. Just have to wait for the fuckin' guards to come get us when we're released. Been waiting all fuckin' day, don't have any fuckin' smokes. Haven't had any fuckin' smokes. The jude-isymal system is fucked right now. They need to figure this shit out. I feel bad for the guys that have to fuckin' stay here."

In another glass visiting room, another camera speaks to Julian

"When I get out I'm gonna make a little money, invest in a few businesses, turn a profit, then repeat the process until I retire. I've always wanted to make money fast. But what I've learned while in jail this time is all you have to do is one job that will give you enough money to float, take the float, invest it in businesses, then live off the profit. I've talked to a few guys in here and they say that's the way to go."

Julian takes a sip from a small paper cup while nodding into the camera.

Back to Rickys interview

"I'm gonna go see Lucy, well, get a pack of smokes and find some dope, then go see Lucy and Trin. Spend some time with my family. Maybe start growing some dope again. Guys in here are saying there is no good dope on the street right now. So it's gonna be great. I'm definitely not coming back to fuckin' jail."

Outside of the jail

Bubbles pulls up outisde of the gates of the jail in Ricky's car. He parks the car and crawls out of the passenger seat to look at the camera.

"Hey boy's. Ricky and Julian are about to get out of jail. They've been in there for about 6 months now. They stole a tow truck, one of those ones that just lifts the front of the car off the ground. Then they started going around picking up broken down cars off the side the road, taking them down to Shitty and selling them for fuckin' 200 dollars worth of scrap metal. The fuckin' price of scrap metal is 9 dollars per hundred pound. And if you think about it, a normal car weighs about two fuckin' tons! So they made a good bit of money but the cops tried to pull them over one night while they were stealing a car. Ricky and Julian thought they could lose em' but they ended up wrecking the tow truck and the cocksuckers caught em' and em' gave em' six months."

The camera pans to take focus on the jail as Ricky and Julian walk out. The two are smiling and ready to get away from the place.

"Hey, Bubs!" Ricky says to Bubbles giving him a handshake. He then walks up to the camera crew and starts asking for smokes.

"How ya been, bud?" Julian asks following Ricky with a handshake and one-armed hug to Bubbles. His other hand now holding a glass of rum and coke.

"Hey, boys! I've been doing ok. I've been doing my carts and helping J-Roc with another movie." Bubbles replies

"Holy shit, Bubs. Tell me you're not doing another one of those fuckin' grease films?" Ricky questions while lighting a smoke. Another smoke behind his ear for later.

"No Ricky! Geez." Bubbles' eyes glance around nervously behind his glasses.

"C'mon, boys. Let's get the hell out of here. I'm ready to get back to the park and check on my trailer," Julian states as he puts his bag in the back of Ricky's car.

Ricky tosses his trash bag of belongings into the car and then gets in himself. Julian gets in the passenger seat and Bubbles slides in the back then the three take off for Sunnyvale.


End file.
